Chapter 8--Camp Choas

Moral was at an all time low due to the emergence of a new religion: Calumnanity. This religion was based aroundt he teachings of radical Zimmerite cleric and anti-Russian agitator Muqutadh Al'Nyquist, and was named after its high priest one Calum the blonde. Claum the blonde and his wife T^2 (or t-squared if you will) ruled over their followers with an iron fist, and drilled into the Zimmerites an irrational fear of all things Russian. The three main tenants of Calumnanity were as follows: 1. OHHH GOD THE RUSSIANS 2. IN NYQUIST WE TRUST 3. NO HOMO. The Calumnists (as believers were commonly called) often suffered from religious seizures, in which they would twist and shout about how the Russians. Were Mobilizing. Now.
As such psychoanalytic therapy was in high demand, which the neighbooring commune (Cocainek), was more than happy to provide. Consequentially incest was also on the rise.
At the same time, Kitty was brooding. She knew that christoph would try to assinate her due to her obviously superior attire and even cheerier demeanor. With this in mind, she knew what she had to do. She had to forge a mighty weapon, a weapon so great that christoph would never be able to defeat her. She traveled far and wide searching for a steel that she could bend to her will through her teasing lead-on magic. She came upon a meteorite decended from heaven, and using a strand of her firey red hair crafted it into a weapon that would obey all her whims and tryna with her all the time, thus never leaving her feeling lonely. She called this blade: luxcaliber. Luxcaliber, which had its own personality and agency, nesteled its handle firmly in her pocket where it would remain ensconced, smoking clove cigarettes, growing absurd facial hair, and reading focault, until called upon by kitty at which point it would jump at any chance of contact and do kitty's bidding. With this in place kitty and the Zimmerites now had a weapon powerful enough to repel almost any Russian attack, which made the other tribes uneasy causing counterbalancing, the kaganites (anther rival tribe) refused to believe this and were promptly exterminated by the neighboring tribe of border trolls. But that is a tale for another time.