Chapter Thirteen--Mourning Sickness

As the thundering march of the Russian troop deployments echoed in the valley of Glenview, Hagnimity told the Zimmerites of the fate of their greasy yet macho leader. Every listener hung their heads in disbelief. Women wept. Battle-hardened warriors fell to their knees. Craig even put down his cigarette and put all of his clothes back on. Upon his white stallion, with flowing hair under an ugly beanie, Hagnimity continued to speak. He quoted Lord of the Rings a lot. He told the Zimmerites that hope was not lost; Chochberg’s operation may yet be successful, and an Argyle hailstorm of poor fashion could save them yet. “You must fight with all the intensity of a speaking yoshi, and pray to the only god who can save us in this time of battle: Mandrews.” He dismissed the troops and rode off.
Two hours later, after hurried preparations were completed, the two armies stood across from each other, waiting. Finally, Rothsfecca blew the horn. The Russians and the Zimmerites rushed towards each other with a roar. It had begun.